Cheap Divorce Lawyers - Are Cheap Divorce Lawyers Worth It?

Let's face it. Getting divorced is possibly one of the worst things which can happen to you.

Not only do you have to deal with the stress and heartache of a marriage break up, but then you also have to deal with the practicalities of dealing with your property, money, children and pets. And this means dealing with lawyers and the courts. No wonder divorce ranks as one of the world's leading causes of stress!

And it is probably fair to say that if you get your lawyer wrong, the amount of anxiety you suffer will increase dramatically. It's your lawyer who will be dealing with all your affairs. It is he (or she) who will be negotiating your position and attempting to get you the best settlement and it will be your lawyer who will dictate the pace of your transaction. Slow lawyer...longer divorce!

It is therefore key to get your lawyer right. He must know what he is doing, be quick and most of all be available to you to answer your concerns and issues. The only problem with this is that in life if you want the best then you are going to have to pay for the best. And lawyers are not cheap. In the UK the average charge out rate for a lawyer is a whopping £250 per hour!

It is because of this we have seen in the UK the rise of the online divorce lawyers. They offer a simple service at a fixed fee. These lawyers are cheap but are they any good?

Well first make sure that they are lawyers and listed with the Law Society. Some of these firms are just claims handlers or paralegals!!

Then next make sure you understand what they are offering. Some of these services only offer uncontested divorces. That means all the parties agree the terms of the split.

If you need a contested divorce lawyer then check whether they do this and what their fee will be. Make sure you look out for hidden extras.

One of the better online firms I have seen is http://www.quick-easy-divorce.com. These guys are lawyers and offer both an uncontested and contested service.

They are also cheap divorce lawyers....but very good.

Go to http://www.quick-easy-divorce.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Paul_B_Levy

Divorce With Children

When you have children you nurture and care for them and mold them into upstanding citizens that can go out into the world and make a mark in history. Unfortunately, when they get married you accept their choices even though you may be seeing trouble brewing even before the vows are said. I know that many parents feel this pang but say nothing because you have given your child good standards to live by.

This young man was married, despite all advice from his parents, for quite a few years and had two lovely kids. This was not a marriage made in heaven due to the health problems of the wife, one of them being manic depression. Every morning was a walk on egg shells because anything could set off an explosion of words that would make a sailor blush. The young man worked all the time because this was his way of escaping the turmoil at home. He lost site of the children for a while because his focus was on making his first million. His marriage was doomed but he was from a divorced family and promised himself that no matter how tough life got, he would not get the dreaded DIVORCE.

The more the young man dove into his work the more the marriage seemed to be weakening. His wife would not clean, cook, or wash clothes but the kids were well-disciplined and taken care of as far as love was concerned. The young man felt that this was enough. The house was a disaster but the kids were clean and he had made a home for them. But deep down in his sole,his childhood teachings were eating away at him and each time that his mother would visit, he became painfully aware that this was not a normal way to live.

Soon the young man realized that this life was not quite what it was appearing to be and caught his wife and the boarder on the floor of the living room wrapped in a blanket. His life was about to change.

With the wife's history of manic depression and explosive personality and anger issues, his life became a living hell. Each time she would call about the kids or just call to confront him, she would remind him of what a horrible human being he was and that he lacked the ability of being a father or even a man. Knowing that he worked the night shift, the ex would call at all hours with a complaint or a demand that he get up and take care of something that was in connection with the children. The love he had for his children did not falter and he started to grow into a model father and dad in spite of his ex's accusations. His focus changed from money to being the best father he could be.

He moved three times to make sure that he was close enough to his children to see them every day and pick them up for school and attend all their activities. He changed his hours so he could spend more time with the children. The divorce made him the best father a child could possibly every ask for. Some days this young man would only get a few hours sleep due to the schedule of his kids' school activities and doctor's appointments or picking them up from school when they were sick. The real problem was that the ex did not have a job but expected the young man to do all the transporting of the children. The young man did them without even complaining because that is 'what dad's do.'

No matter what the young man did for the children, the ex continued to downgrade him and expect more and more from him until after years of mistreatment, he turned and faced her with the strength of a dozen men. He had had enough... Even after one confrontation after another, one yelling match after another, she would not let go of her control of the kids. This is what it was all about - she knew that if she controlled the kids she controlled him. After seven years, the control shifted and he refused to take anymore of the abusive language, his life was taking a turn for the better. He had found the woman of his dreams and married her.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jan_Petrey

7 Tips to Help Stop Your Divorce

You are going through a very rough time in your life if you are facing an unwanted divorce. You want to stop the divorce and save your marriage, but you just don't know how. Part of the problem is that many of the most important things for you to do will seem counterintuitive. Here are 7 tips to help you.

1. Don't beg your spouse to stay You may be thinking that begging or pleading will give you some leverage, or at least tug on your spouse's heart strings or even make them feel guilty, and in a way you may be right. The problem is that desperation is not an attractive quality, and while you may find this and effective way to stop your divorce today, you will need a more long term strategy to save your marriage, and this behavior will create negative feelings you will find harder to fight further down the road.
2. Don't expect a quick fix While you have to find a way to stop your divorce today, you really need to find a way to save your marriage in the long term, or you will keep finding yourself in this situation until one day you are unable to stop it. Understand that you are in it for the long term and try to make changes today that will help both today and in the future.
3. Don't try to change your spouse We are probably all guilty of this at one time or another, but the fact remains that you can not change another person. The only person you really have the power to change is yourself. But you can have an influence if you try. If you want to get a different reaction from someone, you have to start out with a different action. In this way, you can draw this different reaction from them and find the combination that gives you the result you are looking for. By understanding this you will help reduce the amount of conflict in your relationship.
4. Be willing to change This may seem like an obvious one after the last, but it is important just the same. If you are going to stop your divorce, you have to be willing to change. If you want to get different reactions from your spouse, you have to change your actions. You are going to have to change.
5. Show, don't tell your spouse about changes It's really important that you not only are willing to change, but that you actually do so. And just as important as you changing is that your spouse see that you are changing. You have probably gone down the promise road before, where you make a promise to change and then go back to the old ways. Your spouse has doubts. Help alleviate those doubts by showing the changes rather than telling about them.
6. Accept criticism, and remain calm Once you are able to open up a dialog about the problems, and you start to show some changes, it is likely that you will begin to hear some criticism from your spouse. Remember that there may still be a lot of fear and doubt in your spouse, and you may hear about all the things that are bothering him or her. Stay calm, accept these criticisms and use them as the basis for changes you will make. By not getting defensive, but rather staying calm and accepting the criticism, you will diffuse the conflict and overcome objections. This is an important step in your quest to save your marriage.
7. Try counseling, even if your spouse doesn't This is often difficult advice to take, but it can be a big help. If you can get your spouse to agree to counseling, that is best, but even if you can't, having someone you can talk to who doesn't have a personal stake in your relationship is very important. Having that someone trained to help people through these situations can be even more important. With counseling, even if you are not able to stop your divorce and save your marriage, you will find help and support through a difficult period in your life.

These tips are not all inclusive, but they will help you along the way when you are faced with an unwanted divorce. Though they may seem counterintuitive, they work and you should consider them carefully.

Whether your spouse has already filed for divorce or is only just thinking about it, it may not be too late to fix things. Find out how you can stop your divorce at http://www.back-together-today.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chris_Steiner

Islamic Divorce in US Courts

Islamic Divorce Obtained in a Foreign Country

U.S. Courts do not apply Islamic Shari'a law because it violates the Establishment Clause set in the United States Constitution; they apply foreign law when necessary. American Courts do apply foreign law in certain cases involving international principle known as "conflict of Laws," or "Private International Law." This is referred to in U.S. courts as "the doctrine of comity".

In the area of Private International Law, Comity is a courtesy, amity, and reciprocity by U.S. courts towards court decision issued in other nations. Such a consideration by U.S. courts does not entail an obligation to agree with the rulings of foreign judgments. There is therefore a distinction between the doctrine of comity and law.

Public International Law can become part of the national law when the country has its signature on that law, Private international Law however, does not have the same level of recognition by U.S. Courts. The issue of comity is raised in Islamic divorce cases when a person who resides legally in the United States travels to a foreign country and obtain a certificate of divorce from a religious court.

The intent is to obtain an instant divorce by pronouncing triple talaq (divorcing his wife three times in a few minutes.) Such an action leaves the wife with nothing more than a nominal deferred mahr, and takes advantage of the child custody, which discriminates against the women and to label the wife as bad Muslim.

The man then returns to the United States and serves his wife with divorce papers demanding the implementation of the divorce according to the Islamic Shari'a, claiming that the "doctrine of comity" applies to his case.

To determine whether to apply a foreign law, U.S. courts turn to Private International Law, including the "doctrine of comity." Thus the application of the principle of comity is not mandatory, but is rather a matter of custom. They may deny the application of comity if the judges deem the foreign laws is "repugnant" to U.S. principle of law.

Generally, a judgment of divorce for example issued in a foreign country is recognized in the U.S. on the basis of comity, provided both parties to the divorce received adequate notice, i.e. service of process and, generally, provided one of the parties has a domicile in the foreign nation at the time of divorce, and the foreign court has given opportunity to both parties to present their case, and the trial was conducted upon regular proceedings after due citation or voluntary appearance of the litigants, and under a system of jurisprudence likely to secure an impartial administration of justice between the citizens of its own country, and those of other countries, an no prejudice towards either party and should not violate a strong U.S. principle of law, and the parties were present in court.

An Islamic triple talaq differs substantially with respect to property division. Under Islamic Shari'a, wives may be entitled to a deferred mahr, which is, in most cases, much less than what U.S. courts order; above all, U.S. courts will not accept an Islamic divorce certificate obtained in a foreign country if the cause of action on which the divorce is based is "repugnant" to the public policy of the State in which the case is litigated.

Gabriel Sawma is Professor of Middle East Constitutional Law and Islamic Shari'a. He is an expert on Islamic marriage contracts and Islamic divorce. Editor of an International Law website: http://www.gabrielsawma.blogspot.com Author of "The Qur'an: Misinterpreted, Mistranslated and Misread. The Aramaic Language of the Qur'an." http://www.syriacaramaicquran.com Author of an upcoming book on Islamic Divorce in US Courts. Email: gabrielsawma@yahoo.com; gabygms@gmail.com; tel. (609) 915-2237. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gabriel_Sawma

Divorce - Handling the First Few Days is Crucial

Ideally, divorce is something you see coming a long way off. That allows you to prepare yourself and the children emotionally, while you systematically make your way through that almost endless "to do" list.

Ideally.

In reality, divorces are often "sprung" on one of the spouses, and very often the one doing the "springing" has moved way ahead of the other regarding child custody, primary residence, lawyers, bank accounts, and "who gets what." And, of course, sometimes there's another person waiting in the wings.

It's very poignant to be asked for help by someone who's basically still in shock. They have to operate on two tracks. They now have to "catch up" and respond, agree, or challenge the rapidly developing situation on the ground, while simultaneously coping with the implosion of their inner life.

That's why one of my first tasks is to establish if there's something pressing down right away - in the next few days, or so - that needs to be talked about and thought through. It might be work-related - a project deadline, an interview, a key decision. It might be about one of the kids - a school consultation, a behavior problem needing attention. Or, it may even be to find a new place to live.

The first few days are like walking underwater - you may well wish you could lie in bed with the covers over your head, but the world (and especially the kids) still expect you to function and perform.

The point is that, yes, the "story" of your marriage does need to be talked about, finally, if you're going to make sense of it, learn, and even make it into something better. That means therapy, counseling, or coaching at some point.

In the mean time, though, you need to function adequately at work, manage your obligations, break the news to your family and friends, and all the while, your kids are watching you like a hawk. They need you to not buckle.

The first few days, if handled well, can go a long way toward minimizing the overall damage. If both sides "jump ugly" - hire shark lawyers, try to get the kids to take their side, make moves on community property, or scream at each other - the bad taste can last, not just years, but forever.

So I've learned that helping people put one foot in front of the other, early - while they handle the tasks immediately on their plate - is much better than getting too deep, too soon on the "meaning" of the divorce. Healing will come in its time.

For more information, support, and ideas about divorce, visit The Divorce Conversation athttp://divorceconversation.wordpress.com Shaun Kieran has been helping people learn from the events in their lives for many years. He is a Professional Coach and Consultant. His blog is The Divorce Conversation. He also addresses work issues on The Human Workplace at http://springpointservices.com/blog Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shaun_Kieran

Divorce Advice - How a Celebrity Can Help You

This has been an incredible period for celebrity divorces. Madonna and Guy Ritchie recently finished a round of splitsville paparazzi style. The Christie Brinkley- Peter Cook battle was being broadcast like an actual crisis had hit the country. While it was eventually settled out of court, there are signs that certain issues may reignite the whole fiasco.

And what about Paul McCartney? After a long and nasty fight, the former Beatle was ordered to pay ex wife Heather Mills over 48 million dollars which is a fraction of what she was asking for. Now it looks like McCartney may have had a few choice words for Ms Mills in his latest song.

Next up on the docket is Rolling Stone guitarist Ron Wood whose rumored divorce and possible settlement could top 100 million. It also appears that Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid may find themselves on less than peaceful terms when they face off in court.

Of course high profile celebrities are not the only ones doing legal battle with their former significant others but there are some things which can act as a roadmap in regards to what not to do in a divorce.

1. Scorched Earth

There is a tendency for some celebrity couples going thru a divorce to carry out a strategy of total destruction. It's not so much that they care about the settlement (although that of course is a major part of things); it is that they are out to destroy and humiliate the other person in such a way that they would not dare show their face in public again. Turning a divorce into the War of the Roses does not benefit either party.

2. Winners and Losers

A win-win situation is the idea solution because it can be a major catalyst in helping both parties move forward with their lives. In too many instances, one person wins or at least declares victory; the other one is beaten. That means the chances of bitterness and resentment lingering for a long time is very strong. If for some reason you have to deal with your ex in the future, you can expect them to give you a hard time no matter how important or minor the issue.

3. The Aftermath

For a number of divorced celebrities there seems to be no letting it go. They were put through the ringer and irregardless of winning or losing, they find themselves revisiting the divorce over and over again in some form or another. Maybe the paparazzi won't come to your door and ask you questions about your break up but constantly going over that same ground in less than pleasant terms with friends, family, or co workers is not going to do anything for your state of mind.

No doubt we are going to hear about many more celebrity divorces and quite a few are going to be drawn out malicious affairs where everything is dragged before the public. If you are going through a divorce just look at some of the tabloids and television shows to understand what not to do.

Article written by Daryl Campbell - Find out how to deal with a divorce the right way at The Relationship Tip Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Daryl_Campbell

Wise Advice For Coping With Divorce

Ending a marriage is considered one of the most stressful situations a person will be in during the course of their lives. With up to 50% of marriages ending in divorce, it helps to understand that others have been there before. There are methods that can help a person deal with the idea of losing their spouse.

One of the major things to remember is that you do not have to be alone. Support groups abound that can help you to understand what is happening in your life. Separations can be painful, confusing, and overwhelming. By making use of support groups, whether religious, social, or otherwise, you can find some comfort and understanding.

Another important thing to do is acknowledge to your family and friends that the divorce is happening instead of shutting down and pretending nothing is wrong. Let your family and friends into your life. Chances are, they already know something is wrong and would dearly love to comfort you. Shutting them out will only lead to another painful loss.

Be aware of the needs of any children that may be involved. Kids are resilient and can surprise you with their levelheadedness. You do not need to go into overwhelming details about you and your spouse's dirty laundry, but some measure of explanation and reassurance is absolutely necessary. They aren't stupid, just inexperienced in adult interactions. Give them the information they will need to understand and adapt to this change in their lives.

Don't be afraid to seek legal counsel. While you may hope to keep a divorce as amicable as possible, hiring a lawyer will not ruin that. Often times, when a couple is severing their ties, a lawyer can help to keep things in perspective. You may want to give your spouse anything they ask for out of a feeling of guilt or hopes of reconciliation, but this is perhaps not the wisest course. Let someone who has dealt with this before guide both parties to a fair and satisfactory split.

Realize that this is not the end of the world. You don't have to welcome the dissolution of your marriage with open arms, but neither do you have to hide from it. Plenty of people learn from the problems in their marriage and move on to have happy and fulfilling lives. By taking things slowly and giving yourself time to heal, a split can be a growing experience. It may not be much of a silver lining, but it can help you get through the day.

Face this stumbling block in your life head on. By dealing with your divorce in a mature and progressive way, you can make it through this difficult time in your life and move on to the next chapter. Try to stay positive. People have, unfortunately, been in the same position, so why not let their experience and advice help you?

If you're trying to select family law attorney visit AustinDivorceHelp.com. Don't miss the information on howcollaborative divorce attorneys in Austin are changing the way that divorce is done. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carol_Baugh

What to Do When Your Husband Wants a Divorce

I have a blog in which I share how, with a bit of hard work and good luck, I was able to save my marriage and thwart my husband's attempts at a divorce. My husband was dead set on splitting up and was just not interested in anything I had to say regarding preserving our marriage. This story seems to strike a cord with women, because I so often get comments and emails from wives who tell me that they found me because they desperately want to know how to respond to their husband's request for a divorce. They can't concentrate on legal issues or worry about getting an attorney, because they don't want this divorce, and more than anything else, they want to save their marriage and put a stop to this whole downward spiral.

I can completely identify, as I was in this same place a few years ago. I tried every trick in the book to get my husband to change his mind about the divorce. I tired to call his bluff. I tried to play hard ball. I tried to shower him with attention and affection - and none of it worked, but here's what finally did.

Why What You're Doing Now To Change His Mind About The Divorce Probably Isn't Working: Husband's hate to feel that they are being manipulated. If you are at a point where your husband wants a divorce, then this was probably not a split second decision that happened over night. There have probably been a lot of issues that were brushed over, hurts that were never healed, promises that were not kept, and attempts of reconciliation that have repeatedly failed. You husband likely feels that your marriage is at the point of no return and there's nothing that can be done to change or rescue things.

So, when you come in all full of promises and plans as to why this time is going to really be different, or if you argue and try to convince your husband why he is wrong, he's only going to dig in his heels, determined and convinced that there's no good reason to change his mind. In not so many words, you're communicating to him that he's dead wrong, being selfish, and causing a great deal of problems and pain for all involved. So, he's on the offensive, and as a defense mechanism, he's tuning you out.

This is obviously a major problem. You'll never be able to get him on board with saving the marriage if he won't listen to you or give you the time of day. But, please resist the urge to pull out all of the stops and act desperate or panicked. Don't follow him around, beg him, engage him, threaten him, or participate in any behaviors that are just going to confirm to him that negative things happen every time you are around. You want him to think positive thoughts when he thinks of and interacts with you. So, here's how to reverse this trend.

Validate Your Husband And Jump On His Side: As long as the two of you are on opposing sides, your husband is going to do everything possible to emerge the winner. No one likes to lose. So, you have to set this up where no one is going to be the loser. You have to "side" with your husband and agree with him - (or at least make him think you are). Of course, you know your husband best and you should use your own words, but it goes something like this.

The next time you interact with your husband, tell him that you have been thinking about your situation and you now agree with him. Yes, the marriage is in a grave place. Tell him that this hurts you deeply because he remains the most important person in your life. Assure him that you are finished participating in negative interactions and want to concentrate on improving your interactions, no matter where the relationship is going. Tell him that you're no longer going to engage him or try to change his mind.

Your husband will not believe this, probably. He's going to think this is another ploy on your part, but when you make good on it, over and over again, he's going to be disarmed and see that you're telling the truth. Then, the tension will diminish like a popped balloon and he'll have no reason to avoid you anymore - and this is when things will start to get easier.

Don't Rush Things. Let Him Be The One To Call The Divorce Off: Now, if you pull this off right, you'll usually find yourself in a little better position. The tension will start to fade and you'll find that your husband is a little more receptive to you because he no longer sees you as a threat. But, even if you are experiencing little victories, you must move slowly. You can never allow your husband to suspect that you are really trying to change his mind and the outcome. You want to keep busy, see friends, and do the things that put a smile on your face.

What you're doing is showing your husband that you are still the exciting, busy, vibrant, woman he first fell in love with. Take the time to remember who this woman really is. I'd bet that she's not clingy, threatening, or the walking wounded. She's likely happy, upbeat, open hearted, and easy to be around. You want him to want more of her. So she (you) should not be the one to initiate anything with him. Let him be the aggressor, because this puts you back on equal ground. The best case scenario is that you show him the woman he fell in love with, he wants more of her, and you continue to move slowly.

In the end, what you're doing is showing, (not telling him - because he is not going to believe you anyway) that things really can and have changed. Never hurt your progress by asking for reassurance, commitments, or a definition of your relationship too soon. If you continue to move slowly, you'll get these things eventually, but you don't want to scared him off and waste all of your hard work by pushing too hard.

When my husband wanted a divorce, I made many of the mistakes discussed in this article. I stalked, begged, threatened, tried to overcompensate, and acted very badly. These things back fired. Thankfully, I finally realized I was doing more harm than good and was able to change course and save the marriage. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane

Divorce Attorney - Benefits of Hiring

A marriage can be a wonderful and beautiful thing. It is can be very hard to find someone that you would like to spend your life with, so when you do, you are probably very eager to enter a marriage and begin your life with your new spouse. However, marriage can also be very difficult. Sometimes unforeseen events in life can permanently alter a marriage and things can begin to go wrong.

If things have begun to go wrong in your marriage, and you are thinking of ending the relationship, you will probably want to hire a divorce attorney. Ending a marriage can be a very difficult and drawn out process, so if you are not familiar with all that is involved in a settlement, it is a good idea to have a professional on your side that will guide you through. You and your spouse will both likely be fighting to come out ahead in the settlement, so you will probably want to hire a divorce attorney that you can count on and that has a successful history in these settlements.

It can be very beneficial for you to hire a divorce attorney as soon as you have finalized your choice to end your marriage. You might even want to consult with someone before reaching your final decision, just to familiarize yourself with the process. Talking with someone that can help you becoming acquainted with the process of ending a marriage can go a long ways in making you feel more comfortable with the situation. This can also help relieve some of the stress and anxiety that you may be feeling over the situation.

The processes that your divorce attorney will likely be helping you through can include dividing the assets that you and your spouse have acquired during your marriage, and also in the child custody and support cases if you and your spouse have children. All of these processes can become quite intense, especially if both you and your spouse are fighting tooth and nail for everything. The situation can become particularly complicated when there are children involved because emotions tend to run very high during the custody hearings and both parents usually want to be awarded custody of the children. The benefit of having a professional on your side is that they will have experience in all of these situations and will be able to help you successfully navigate through them and also to hopefully come out ahead in the end.

The reasons why couples decide to call it quits on their marriages are unique and varied, but no matter what your reasoning is, making the decision to end your marriage can be very difficult. If you do decide to end things however, it is usually better to hire a professional from the beginning to make sure that you are being properly represented in the hearings and that you come out ahead at the end of the settlement. Also, if you do decide to hire a professional to guide you through the settlement, make sure to do your homework on all of your options before deciding who to hire.

For more information on the divorce process or for a Corona Family Law Attorney or to schedule a consultation with a Child Custody Lawyer visit the offices of Diefer Law Group

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Justin_DiMateo

Stop Divorce Advice - Three Common Misconceptions You Simply Must Not Believe

Are you looking for a way to stop divorce? There's a lot of advice out there that can help you. Unfortunately, there are also a few misconceptions that can completely sidetrack your efforts. Let's look at three commonly-espoused myths that you simply must ignore if you want to stop your divorce.

MYTH: You Need To Do Therapy As A Couple

There are a lot of people who will tell you that joint therapy is a great way to save a marriage. They'll go so far as to tell you that you must go if you want to stop divorce. Advice like this is completely misguided, though. Did you know that one expert actually reports that couples' therapy only saves marriages about 20% of the time! Eight out of every ten couples get divorced. This is not something you need to do!

MYTH: There's a Point Of No Return

There are some people who will say that troubled marriages can reach a point of no return. They'll argue that it's impossible to save a marriage after that invisible "tipping point". It simply isn't true. There are many cases of people who were able to stop a divorce even after initiating the process. There is no point of no return. Until the divorce is finalized, it is possible to save your marriage.

MYTH: You Can't Do It Alone

Stop divorce advice givers are frequently guilty of assuming that both parties in a marriage need to be active in order to save it. Of all divorce myths, this is probably the most common. It also isn't true. It is possible to rescue a seemingly doomed marriage even when only one spouse is interested in making a change. There are proven systems out there that explain exactly what one person can do to save a marriage and why these strategies work. The idea that "it takes two to tango" has some prima facie appeal, but research and experience prove that one motivated spouse can make the difference.

Don't believe these common misconceptions. Your relationship is not doomed. Even if you're the only one interested in making things work, you can save your marriage. By following a smart, professional and proven plan designed to effectively save a marriage, you can make your relationship much stronger and better than it has ever been! Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Syd_McKeever

Why Pay a Lawyer? Get a Cheap Divorce

By Charlotte Hoaks

How hard is it to get a Do-It-Yourself Divorce? Of course, it will vary, from state to state but after assisting my daughter going through the process, I can say first hand, it was relatively easy. At least that's what we have found here in Texas.

After an internet research, we found books with actual legal forms available for approximately twenty-five dollars. The "How-To" book was state specific. What did the process involve? The divorce required little more than a computer, a bit of skill using MS Word and time to read and follow instructions to complete the forms?

The first document was the "initial filing" known as a "Petition". Once completed, you, the Petitioner, take the document to the County Clerk's office where it is assigned a number then registered as temporary orders establishing custody, support, etc. This filing cost approximately $250 in Texas. The clerk will provide a list of any additional actions required by the judge, county or state such as parenting classes.

The next step is notifying the soon to be EX now identified as the Respondent. The process can be accomplished by a peace officer serving the papers (costing approximately $150) or the Petitioner hand delivering the papers and the Respondent signing a Waiver in front of a notary stating they have been notified. A word of caution, those signing the Waiver should read and understand what they are about to sign. The Waiver is then filed at the County Clerk's office by the Petitioner. At that point a 60 day waiting period is required in Texas. That may vary from state to state.

If the Respondent has signed the Waiver their responsibility in the divorce process is complete. The additional documents will be completed by the Petitioner and after the Decree has been presented, signed by the judge, and filed, the Respondent will get a copy with the final orders from the court.

Completing the Decree is time consuming and involves several "Exhibits" in spite of even the most limited of assets. Some of the documents included are relating to child custody, child support, visitation, division of assets, debt responsibility, and taxes. The key is to read carefully. Visit each of the sample "Exhibits" and complete the ones that apply to your specific situation. The book we used provided captions for each of the required information fields and we stepped through the completion in a matter of about eight hours.

Once the Decree is completed and both parties have agreed to the content, the papers are filed at the County Clerk's office. If the Respondent has signed the Waiver their signature is not required to file the Decree. The Petitioner moves forward with little or no interaction with the Respondent. Again, take the Decree and all supporting documents or "Exhibits" required by the specific situation. Refer to any additional provisions stipulated by the court when the Petition was files. Make sure all appropriate actions have been taken.

Again, there may be a wait of several days before an actual court date is scheduled. In our county, my daughter had to show up at the county clerk's office to sign up for court at a predetermined time and wait her turn.

In my daughter's case, her soon to be EX was the one suggesting divorce. She agreed and basically kept the process rolling. The EX signed the Waiver and the rest was handled without any additional involvement from him. Child support guidelines for each state will differ but it is a percentage of a base salary. The judge will determine if the Respondent's financial obligation listed in the Decree is within the guidelines. With supporting financials, the judge accepted the amount entered in the case of my daughter's Decree.

The final hearing in front of the judge was brief, not more than twenty minutes. The judge gave my daughter a "cheat sheet" She read through the script inserting names as appropriate. The judge reviewed the Decree, asked a few questions and signed it.

That was it, a divorce for $250. The county clerk will notify the Ex at the address he gave on the waiver. My daughter is now ready to begin her new life as a free woman.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Charlotte_Hoaks

Divorce Forces Money Problems For Many

By Landon McGehee 

As the rate of divorce seems to rise, people seem to still be surprised when it happens to them. Financial, emotional, and personal lives are splintered, and torn to pieces. If you don't know someone who has been through a divorce, this article will help you learn about what to avoid and look for when a divorce is inevitable for your future.

The Stop at the Lawyers

When you split up a family you are also going to split up everything from the money, to everything in the house. Mental, emotional and financial strains are difficult. Most often times, people who are breaking up do not feel very giving towards the other person with all the belongings. The husband and wife going through the divorce often times focus on who is getting what, and what they don't want the other person to have in the end.

While looking at the things you have, the money you have, you must also look at the debts and the loans or the credit cards that are in your name. Don't focus just on what you have, but also on what you don't have when splitting everything up in the end of a marriage.

Finding answers, using mediation

Lawyers are going to be costly during a breakup. When possible, think about using a mediator, the process of mediation to put things behind you when going through a divorce. Both the husband and wife are going to have to make a few concessions in both assets and in debts, but the end result is going to be a much faster process. Mediation is most often times going to be less costly than two lawyer bills are going to be.

Avoid getting trapped and paying more than you should. When possible, if you have real estate you want to sell it off so you can get cash from the deals - that may be the best consolidation plan. When possible, and you have shared assets such as stocks as a joint account you may want to consider signing off on portions of the stocks in return for other portions of the stocks. This is going to prevent either of you from having to pay heavy fees and cash in taxes when you don't really have too. When too people are getting a divorce, sometimes the best thing you can possibly do is act like adults and use a third party to save money in many ways.

What financial matters you should think about

Besides the house, and the things you own physically you also have a few other topics you may want to remember to think about. These things include items such as your joint checking, joint savings, joint credit cards, and other valuables such as insurance policies and disability policies. While you may not want to believe it, some joint accounts hold both parties responsible even if divorced. If one husband or one wife were to rack up the credit cards, the other could be held responsible because it is a joint account and for the monies that are outstanding.

One last thing you should think about when breaking a couple up and heading for divorce. Alimony is often a factor when large sums of money are in question, or if one spouse was the bread winner and the other spouse wasn't working. In some areas of the country it is difficult to get alimony while it doesn't mean that it is impossible.

What is divorce going to mean for you

Changes are going to have to be made, which is going to mean rebuilding your finances, your home life, and your family. You may need a smaller house, or you may need to live in a different neighborhood. All the expenses of a house will become your own, and all the expenses of your children if you have any will also need to be addressed.

Now you can remove the confusion in your mind on the topic of best consolidation plan. Learn from our years of experience, visit http://www.everlife.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Landon_McGehee

Parenting Through Divorce and Beyond

By Charles Jamieson

Although there are a few exceptions, divorce often causes major disruptions to the family unit. Naturally, this instability can be frightening to everyone involved-especially to the children of divorcing parents. And, unfortunately, this instability can have long-term effects as well. Even though parents may think they are hiding their insecurities of what the future may hold, and their anger toward their spouse, they convey messages to their children they may not intend. Indeed, parents may not realize that their once commendable behavior, now battered by their irritability from lack of sleep, constant marital conflict, and anxiety about their future, is marked by impatience, inapproachability, or even emotional withdrawal from their children.

Research studies have suggested that providing as much parental harmony - even during and after the divorce is critical to the healthy development of our children's relationships not only in the near future, but far beyond it to adulthood. Indeed, the long-term consequences of parental discord affect children pervasively and consistently in a detrimental fashion, according the data provided by researchers Paul Amato and Alan Booth. They found that children from families with a high degree of discord before and after their divorces tended to have more difficulties in dating -- and less happiness, less interaction, and more conflict in marriage. Not surprisingly, the probability of divorce is higher among children whose parents experienced a high degree of disharmony in marriage and subsequently.

While divorce cannot always be avoided, bad conduct during and after divorce can be. Open, honest, civil communication with your ex-spouse, or soon to be ex-spouse, and your children, is best for every one. Here are some tips for parents who are currently in the midst of a divorce, or have already divorced:

DO:
Tell each child individually that he or she is not the cause of the divorce and will always be loved by both parents.
Be supportive and positive about the child's relationship with the other parent.
Always let the child know when he or she will see the absent parent.
Continue reassuring the children that they can still count on both parents
Deal directly with the other parent. (Don't use the children to make or change plans.)
Be careful when discussing your case with your attorney (or friends) on the phone. Children hear more than we think.
Behave reasonably and rationally so your children know you have made the decision to end your marriage in a careful and thoughtful way.
Establish a home for the children with a place for their belongings (each child should be given at least one drawer in the visiting parent's home for toys, artwork, pajamas, etc. with absolute privacy being guaranteed to the child with respect to this special drawer.)
Be prompt for pickup and drop-off.
Maintain regular telephone contact with the children.
Have children ready in time for visitation and be home, or at the visitation exchange on time to receive the children.

DON'T
Argue in front of the children.
Speak derogatorily about the other parent.
Cancel plans with the children.
Pump the children for information about the other parent.
Use the children to carry angry messages back and forth.
Use the children to deliver support payments or bills.
Ask children with whom they want to live.
Ask a child to keep a secret from the other parent
Appear sad when your child leaves to see the other parent.
Change residences more often than is absolutely necessary.
Believe everything the children say about the other parent.
Introduce your children to your new romantic interest until the children have adjusted to your separation and your new relationship is stable.
Bring your children to court or to your lawyer's office.
As loving parents we make an emotional pact with our spouse when our children are born, to pour our lives and all happiness into them - protecting them from hurt and suffering. Somehow, when our marriage disintegrates we forget our promise to each other. And, as the research suggests, psychological harm affects our children long into their adulthood. Unfortunately, this cycle of discord and broken promises can even continue into the next generation.

Charles D. Jamieson, Esquire, is the founding partner of The Law Firm of Charles D. Jamieson, P.A. in West Palm Beach, Florida. He has practiced family law for more than 25 years and has represented individuals or acted as a legal consultant in divorce and child abuse cases throughout Florida, as well as in more than 20 states during his career Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Charles_Jamieson

Fathers, Don't Wait Until Divorce to Get Involved With Your Children

By Mary Wollard

Recently, I heard a similar comment from two different fathers. One dad was talking about issues that have come up with his children since his divorce a few years ago; the other was talking about parenting issues with his pending divorce.

Both of these fathers saw divorce as an opportunity to spend more time with their children, not less. After all of my years working with families during and after divorce, this didn't surprise me one bit, though I'd never heard a father actually say it.

What these two fathers were talking about was quality time. Because even though the actual number of hours and minutes in the same house with the children was less than before separation, it meant much, much more.

After reflecting on the idea that separation and divorce could actually enhance a father's relationship with the children, I began to realize how many fathers feel unequipped to parent.

It's only natural; Moms tend to spend lots more time caring for the children when they are babies. In addition, Mom often stays home with the children, even if it's just maternity leave from her job, while Dad goes back to work after just a few days.

I think everybody just gets in the habit of Mom being the caretaker and Dad being more of an observer than a participant. The habit, then, is reinforced when Mom won't say she needs or wants help. When Dad does try to do some of the child-rearing, his initial attempts can be clumsy and unwelcome by Mom.

Consequently, many mothers complain about fathers who are totally uninterested in doing anything with the children. At the same time, fathers often feel like they are prevented from fully participating in their children's care because Mom does it all or doesn't like the way they do it.

Unfortunately, by the time the family faces divorce, fathers often end up with less parenting time based upon their lack of involvement with the children during the marriage.

It's no wonder that some fathers feel they are actually spending more time with their children after separation than they were before. The time they now have with the children is unhampered by Mom's tendency to do everything. Instead of feeling like they're in the way, dads can use their parenting time to become fully involved and present with their children.

Dads, don't wait to be asked! Get involved in your children's care now. Moms, if you see Dad trying to help, let him. While it might be tricky at first to work out the differences between your styles, the whole family will benefit.

Mary A. Wollard, JD, is an attorney, mediator, and arbitrator with over 20 years experience in solving the legal issues of divorce, parenting (custody), marital property and support. In addition to helping families through mediation and arbitration, Ms. Wollard provides parenting coordination and decision-making services to families when on-going conflict prevents them from fully implementing their parenting plan after divorce. Visit http://www.cofamilysolutions.com/downloads.htm for free downloadable worksheets you can use to organize your family's transition. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Wollard

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Getting a Divorce? 5 Tips to Avoid a Huge Legal Bill

By Howard MacKinnon

Divorce is not easy at the best of times. But it can be especially difficult when enormous legal bills add to the usually stress and strain. Here are some tips we recommend that you consider to keep your legal bills manageable.

1. Is a lawyer really necessary? Often the answer is "yes". Where else can you go to find out what your legal rights and responsibilities are? But after you get the answers to your questions if may be possible for you to take care of the remainder of your divorce by yourself - possibly with just a little help.

The vast majority of divorce cases are uncontested - the spouses have agreed on the terms of divorce. The relationship is over and needs legal closure. You cannot expect the court office to prepare your paperwork for you but there are some affordable alternatives to law firms.

One is a do-it-yourself divorce kit. You can buy one of these for about $30 at most bookstores or office supply stores. They give you the basic information you need along with the blank forms you will need to fill out. It will still take some time to read through and figure out what they are telling you to do but it has the advantage of being the cheapest possible option.

An easier alternative is a little more costly, between $200 and $300, but still much cheaper than hiring a lawyer. The Internet has several divorce document preparation services which will send you all the forms you need, already completed and ready for you to sign. You just follow the instructions they provide to file the forms with the court office. Yes, this is more expensive than the kits but much easier and will still save you a great deal compared with hiring a law firm.

2. Try mediating instead of litigating. If you are among the 10% or so who have not been able to agree with your spouse on the terms of your divorce, before your lawyers start scrapping hire a mediator. A mediator is a specialist in assisted negotiation who will help you and your spouse come to an agreement on those touchy issues that you have not been able to resolve on your own. Mediation is successful in resolving the majority of disputes and can change your divorce from a courtroom contest into a far less expensive paper shuffle.

Mediation is going to cost you a few thousand dollars so you have to keep the alternative in mind. Sure, if you and your spouse can settle matters without a mediator then that is the way to go. But if the alternative is a court room battle you will both by out tens of thousands of dollars. If you can spend a couple of thousand and avoid this through mediation then the choice is obvious.

3. Free initial consultations are often offered by lawyers looking for your business. Before booking an appointment with a lawyer make sure the first 30 minutes or so will be free or else call someone else. It may be that after getting some preliminary information you will find that you won't need a lawyer to handle your divorce and you can try one of the cheaper alternatives.

4. Understand how a lawyer's bill is calculated. If the hourly rate is $200 then for every message you leave or brief conversation you have you will be billed at least $20. Each time you are tempted to call your lawyer and ask how things are progressing, take out a $20 bill and say goodbye to it - you might reconsider. A better idea is to arrange at the beginning to have copies of all letters written or received by your lawyer forwarded to you. You will still be billed for these copies but they will let you keep tabs on what is happening with your file without incurring any more fees than necessary.

5. Negotiate a flat fee with your lawyer. This may not be easy, or even possible, as most lawyers charge by the hour. But if you can do it the peace of mind of knowing what the legal bill is going to look like at the end of the day is worth making the attempt. It also allows both you and your lawyer to focus on the real issues and not on who to minimize/maximize the bill.

by Howard MacKinnon Check out Divorce Canada as a type of divorce document assembly service mentioned in this report. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Howard_MacKinnon

Life After Divorce - Employment for Independence

By R Walsh

There are many strategies to help you move on, find peace with your new single self, and move beyond the pain of your divorce. If you are considering dating again, that is great. Just because divorce has shaken up your life, remember, you only have one life and you really need to make the most of it. Making the most of employment opportunities is vital to your own happiness and success.

Redefining your career at such a turning point in your life is an extremely proactive way to help you walk the path towards the life you would like to achieve. It may be time for you to re-join the workforce, increase your hours of work, or find a new job altogether. Divorce can play havoc on finances, so having employment you are happy with will be one less stress you need to cope with.

If you are already employed, if you feel up to it, reinvent yourself. Get involved in the areas in which you excel. Accept challenges you may once have shied away from, show your bosses that you mean business and you are worth more than your weight in gold. Stay up to date with any promotions that may become available and learn to trust yourself as a quality employee.

If you have young children, then it may be that you need to work less than you were before divorce. Try not to let this concern you. Embrace your time with your children, they grow all too fast. There are many ways you can work from home to earn some extra income, many of them on the computer, and some amazing resources for information. Don't be scared to follow a dream. Are you good at arts and crafts? Writing? Design? Think outside the square and stay focused, You might be amazed at what can happen.

If you are unemployed or have been out of the workforce and need to re-enter, try not to stress or be overwhelmed. There are plenty of simple easy to follow steps to help you on your way. Make a list of your skills, jobs you have held before and any qualifications you have. Turn these into a resume. If you are not comfortable writing a resume, then have someone do it for you, even if it costs you a few dollars, a professional looking resume is essential. Getting a job is an amazing feeling that can boost your self esteem immensely.

If you are having problems feeling motivated, difficulty keeping a job or finding one, then don't be disheartened. It is the pain of the divorce causing everything to feel more difficult and painful. Look to the future, past all the difficulties, and keep your focus there.

If you are already retired, and have no financial need to seek employment after divorce, then it should not be difficult for you to find positions within the community that would spark your interest. Schools amongst other agencies and companies are often looking for people to teach all sorts of programs and knowledge. Even things as simple as how to be a good housekeeper, caring for children, gardening facts, or if you have business expertise, become a mentor.

The goal is, to find a way to utilize your energy that is both enjoyable and challenging for you. Believe in yourself, boost your self esteem and be proud.

Take Control of your life - Visit: Profile Assistant and join the newsletter for regular updates on divorce, dating and relationships. http://www.profileassistant.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=R_Walsh

How to Get Your Ex-Wife Back

By Tim Feller

To get your ex wife back is difficult but possible. You must understand that women are driven by their emotions, and the fact that your relationship ended probably means that her emotional needs were not being met.

To get her back, you will need to change whatever is necessary to ensure her feelings are not being neglected, and you will need to maintain these changes in yourself. If you feel you can not abide by what she wants, then don't bother trying to win her back as it will only end in tears once more.

If you feel you can meet her emotional needs sufficiently, then the first thing you need to do is make contact at an appropriate time. Simply check up on her well being with a short message in the way you think best. Then you can slowly start to increase the frequency of contact.

Communication is very important, and is a two way process. Listen to what she says, show her that you respect her feelings and opinions. It is very important that she feels her opinions are valued by you. This will also be an opportunity to find out what she feels is wrong in the relationship, but just make sure you're listening for the hints she drops - don't be too up-front about it.

When you are with her, be sure to show that you appreciate her. Try a little flirting, or a compliment, but be subtle. Remember - women have an intuition for these things, and they'll know if you are being truly honest.

Tips to Get Your Ex Wife Back:

-Do not call her repeatedly

-Be prepared to change yourself to meet her needs

-Do not be too emotional in her presence

-Listen to her and respect what she has to say

By supporting and listening to her, you will show that you can meet her emotional needs and you are on your way to winning her back.

While it is not easy to win back the affections of your ex, it can be done. The basics above will get you off to a good start, but it is important to continue to adapt to YOUR situation. If you truly want your ex back then you should do everything possible. For more FREE tips and strategies, check out http://www.getmyexback.co.uk Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tim_Feller

What You Must Know about Your Assets BEFORE You File for a Divorce

By Moreah Ragusa

Making the decision to get a divorce takes time and is often accompanied by feelings of fear, anger, guilt, defeat, and sadness. This is understandable, but not necessary. If you change your outlook on the experience of divorce, and strive to remain open-hearted and open-minded to the many opportunities that naturally accompany divorce, you can actually use the experience to make the changes you know you need to make to have a more fulfilling life.

When getting a divorce, many of us do not consider that sometimes leaving our marriage can wake us up to what we have needed to do all along. Divorce helps us to take stock of our life, and pushes us to tend to the issues that we have been denying or avoiding because we are either afraid or uninterested in dealing with a particular arena of life (parenting, finances, fitness, career) that we feel less competent in, but that really does need some of our attention.

In as much as divorce is a time of completions, it is also a time of new beginnings, which include creating a new financial picture. Before you begin to allow fear rather than reason to take over, and you begin staging yourself to become the opponent rather than ally in protecting the matrimonial assets from your ex, you should find a chartered accountant whom you and your future ex can trust.

BEFORE you even file for separation or divorce, you and your spouse should get a clear picture of your financial house. Become versed in what the true value is of the matrimonial property you shared by getting realistic appraisals on all the matrimonial property you jointly own, including businesses, trailers, cars, boats, art, and any other assets; oh, and don't forget the pension plans!

In many marriages, one of the partners is more financially educated and confident, which may cause feelings of fear and suspicion to foster in the less confident party. If this is the case in your situation, take the time to allow the spouse who is in need of some additional financial guidance to get it BEFORE the discussion of division occurs.

If your accountant is not well versed in the potential tax implications of the division of your assets, consult with a professionally trained tax accountant who is confident in advising you.

After you have worked with professionals to determine what your real asset and liability values are, find a qualified divorce coach or mediator to facilitate your next step: how you can best make the decisions of dividing your assets fairly, with the minimal tax implications, and most creativity, to ensure your money stays in your bank accounts and not the lawyers.

The next step to take on your divorce journey is to determine if you and your ex need independent legal counsel; this varies from province to province and state to state. If independent counsel is required, make sure you find two collaborative lawyers who have a history of working well together, and who are happy to advise you, rather than litigate your file.

To learn more about how to care for the kids' needs in divorce, and to be educated in the needed attitudes and negotiating tools to create the new divorce paradigm, please pick up a copy of my book The New Divorce Paradigm.

Moreah Ragusa is one of North America's most innovative experts in the area of individual and relationship transformation, uniquely focused on the revealing of personal brilliance. She is an author, psychotherapist, registered family mediator, and relationship counselor specializing in divorce. Moreah is also a respected corporate coach, popular speaker and seminar leader. She is the author of four books on spiritual transformation: The New Marriage Paradigm: Inspiring the Transformation and Evolution of Committed Relationships; The New Divorce Paradigm: Transitioning Your Relationship with Integrity; Rediscovering Your Authentic Self: Applying A Course in Miracles to Everyday Life; and Our Cosmic Dance, a candid autobiography offered as a teaching model for personal and relationship growth. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Moreah_Ragusa

Joint Bank Accounts and Divorce

By Bill Stone 

Here are some useful tips on joint bank accounts and divorce. If you've recently been through a divorce - or are contemplating one - you may want to look closely at issues involving joint bank accounts.

Joint Bank Account:

Your income, financial assets, and credit history - and your spouse's - are considerations for a joint account. No matter who handles the household bills, you and your spouse are responsible for seeing that debts are paid. A creditor who reports the credit history of a joint account to credit bureaus must report it in both names.

An application combining the financial resources of two people may present a stronger case to a creditor who is granting a loan or credit card. But because two people applied together for the credit, each is responsible for the debt.

This is true even if a divorce decree assigns separate debt obligations to each spouse. Former spouses who run up bills and don't pay them can hurt their ex-partner's credit histories on jointly-held accounts.

Divorce:

If you're considering divorce or separation, pay special attention to the status of your joint bank accounts. If you maintain joint accounts during this time, it's important to make regular payments so your credit record won't suffer. As long as there's an outstanding balance on a joint account, you and your spouse are responsible for it.

If you divorce, you may want to close joint accounts or accounts in which your former spouse was an authorised user. You can also ask the creditor to convert these accounts to individual accounts.

The creditor can require you to reapply for credit on an individual basis and then, based on your new application, extend or deny you credit.

Bill Stone writes for Direct Online Loans who help homeowners find the best available loans via the http://www.directonlineloans.co.uk website. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bill_Stone