Divorce Statistics

By Terry Ross 

Searching for divorce statistics? STOP think about why you are looking for them.

If you are considering divorce stop looking at divorce statistics as a way to justify what you are planning to do. So what if the divorce statistics show that nearly half of marriages end in divorce, do you really want to think of your marriage as a statistic?

So you want to get divorced does it really matter how many people have been there before you? Can a divorce statistic really help you make such a life changing decision? And if it can shouldn't you ask yourself why?

A divorce decision should be about you and your partner not about a stack of failed marriages which form part of the latest divorce statistics. You are just kidding yourself if you believe divorce can be justified on the grounds of the misfortune of others. Don't we spend our lives trying not to become a mere statistic so shouldn't it be the same with divorce.

Step back and THINK. What makes you believe you should be seeking a divorce?

Your decision is going to affect the whole family, just not you and your partner so make sure you are 100% sure there is no other option before you communicate your decision to seek a divorce. Before you become a statistic seriously think about why you feel you need to go down the divorce route and consider:

• the emotional impact
• the financial impact
• the impact on the children
• the impact on your home and your family life
• will you actually be any happier

Just another statistic for you - on average couples who get divorced are no happier after they get a divorce than before and are, on average, no happier in a new relationship.

Sorry I side tracked, so back to the matter of divorce statistics and divorce. So what comes hand in hand with divorce? Your standard of living is likely to drop, your social life might suffer and your children might struggle to cope with the loss of a parent in their day to day lives to name just a few of the downsides.

I'm not pointing out how hard it's likely to be to try and stop you seeking a divorce, I am just saying seriously think about it, make an informed decision based on your own personal circumstances and not on a load of divorce statistics. Make sure it is 100% what you want before you do it.

Have you explored all the options and ruled out any hope of being able to save your marriage:

• Is there absolutely no way of saving your marriage?
• Have you tried marriage counselling
• Have you established the route cause of your marriage problems?
• Is there honestly no way of eliminating the cause? Is divorce the only way out?
• What about on-line help?
• Have you tried talking your marriage problems with a trusted family member or a friend? They might help you see your relationship from a new perspective.
• Is divorce really what you want?

Divorce is a major step despite the divorce statistics it's not easy either emotionally or financially. All's I ask is that you explore every options and be sure of what you are doing before taking that final step.

For more on divorce, separation and common marriage problems visit http://www.commonmarriageproblems.marriagehealth.com/Separation_&_Divorce.html. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Terry_Ross

How to Survive a Divorce

By Terry Ross 

With so many marriages ending up in divorce (around 50% in America) there has become an ever increasing need for help in surviving the ordeal of a divorce.

The first thing to you need to do is make doubly sure that there is no way you can save your marriage and that divorce is the only option. If you can be sure that you are not making a mistake in getting divorced the easier it can be to come to terms with the separation.

Once you have made your decision you need to start mentally preparing yourself for the life beyond divorce.

Once you have reached this point and you have filed for divorce there is no point looking back, what has happened is in the past and you now need to look to what needs to be done to make the separation easier and start planning for the future.

Don't go blaming yourself and don't start thinking of yourself as a failure. Divorce happens and so you and your partner haven't got the marriage idea quite right but you now need to learn from any mistakes, let go and move on.

I know it's easy for me to say and the concept of divorce is probably a crushing blow but you can and you will survive this. You know your marriage and you know it can't be saved and that you are seeking divorce with good reason. It makes sense to move on.

You need to try and let go before the end, begin to start making a new life (at least in your mind) before that final bit of paper comes through the door.

Divorce is a whole lot easier if the whole process is amicable. The more fighting and arguing that occurs over custody and finances the more stressful divorce can be. Divorce is hard enough you just don't need or want any added animosity. The harder the divorce the slower the recovery process will be.

Divorced spouse can often be filled with feelings of hatred, anger and self-loathing. Stress levels run high and it just seems impossible to get past the frustration and the continual memories of the failed marriage but divorce has to mean 'the end'. To survive divorce and get on with your life you need to visualise and understand the line drawn under your marriage. You might not like it but you have to accept it.

Don't ever think that because one marriage is failed you won't enjoy a loving relationship again. You need to re-build your self-esteem, accept that many marriages fail and that your divorce doesn't mean you are a failure.

Try and start rebuilding your life and doing something you enjoy every day. Make sure you have time out from going over and over your marriage. Deliberately make extra time for things you enjoy and try and keep your mind occupied for as much of the day as possible.

Obviously evenings are harder and this is when you need to start rebuilding your social life. Don't lock yourself away, get out there, do thinks you enjoy, meet new people and start learning that there is a whole new life waiting for you. See divorce as the beginning and not the end!

If you have children don't use them to get at your ex-spouse. Children suffer enough after a divorce and you need to make it as easy as possible for them. It's also easier for you if you can learn to let go of the anger.

If you believe you can do it then you can do it. Don't let divorce ruin your life, it's your decision to go down with the sinking ship or get back out there and start swimming. You can do whatever you want, you can make it happen. There are a whole load of new opportunities out there just waiting for you to grab them. It's a bit like riding a horse or a bicycle, if you fall off you have to get back on if you don't you'll loose your nerve.

For more on divorce visit http://www.commonmarriageproblems.marriagehealth.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Terry_Ross

Getting Legal Advice From Divorce Lawyers

By Francisco Segura

If you are seeking to employ a divorce lawyer then things have obviously gone wrong in your relationship; some guidelines on what to look for are below:

*Have successfully practiced this area of law for some time

*Know how to take the correct approach

*Be reliable

The best attorney to employ is one who, for at least half their time, is dealing with divorce cases and is fully skilled in mediation techniques. All this will be waste if you do not feel you can trust them, so look for a person you feel comfortable with.

Those attorneys who prefer mediation will look to solve problems by talking and not through the conflict based approach many attorneys wish to provide. To save time when you contact your divorce lawyer, keep conversations brief and to the point, which can be achieved by preparing what you need from them in advance.

Whether you intend to see them or speak on the phone, write everything down as this is the most efficient way to utilize your legal representative and keep a record of dates and times you spoke with them. Physical meetings will cost more so if an item can be dealt with by mail or on the phone this will save money.

Your divorce attorney is just a resource for legal matters so do not try to get them personally involved as that is not their function; if you need emotional support there are others who can help with this. Try always to stick to pertinent facts when speaking to your divorce lawyer, not general complaints about your spouse's behavior as this is just a waste of your money if use them as a sounding board.

Let your lawyer know from the start that you will be in charge of the case and they are there for legal advice and not as someone to lean on when things start getting rough. Your legal representative must be told up front that whilst his or her advice is essential, all decisions regarding the divorce will be made by you. Let them know that copies of any correspondence relating to the case will need to be sent to you along with any other information and if you contact them, to reply as quickly as possible.

There are instances when you may not actually need direct legal representation but may just wish to use the services of a lawyer for advice on legal aspects like a marital settlement. This means that a little research is necessary on your part but once you have completed this, it is much easier to contact a lawyer to ask them specific questions and how they see your case concluding. You may decide to have a divorce lawyer help with your marital settlement agreement, either to draft one or just to check over one you have made yourself then contact them if you get stuck or confused.

Francisco Segura owns and operates http://privateinvestigatorcorner.com/private-investigator-association.html Private Investigator Association Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Francisco_Segura

The 9 Things that You Must Tell Your Divorce Attorney

By Leigh Carson

Divorce is hard. Whether you have been married for a very short time or many years, divorce is the end of hopes and dreams. Divorce is expensive, emotionally and financially.

Some people choose to represent themselves, and this advice is not for those brave souls. It must be repeated here that it is often said that an attorney who represents himself or herself has a fool for a client, and the same is surely true of the non-attorney who acts as his or her own attorney.

If you have an attorney for your divorce (or modification or other family law matter), here is a list of the 9 things that you must be certain your attorney knows.

1. The single most important thing to me:
2. The second most important thing to me:
3. The following things are important to me, but they are not essential. I am willing to negotiate about these items:
4. The following items are not all that important to me, but I would like to keep them in mind as part of my overall outcome:
5. The following things are of no consequence to me whatsoever:
6. Are my goals realistic and if not, why not:
7. This is what I think are the most important things for you to know about the other person or people on the other side of the case:
8. What I think is the most important thing to the other person or people involved in this case:
9. What I think is the greatest tissue between me and the other person or people involved in this case:

If you are worried that your attorney will think an honest answer to any of these questions will be silly or petty, you have the wrong attorney.

Always remember that the court system and the laws are not always going to be what you perceive to be fair, and sometimes the answer to whether something can or will happen will be "no", and the explanation will be "because it just won't happen." That does not mean that you have a bad attorney, just an honest one.

Giving your attorney your answers to these questions will allow your attorney to better prepare tot handle your case and also to better serve you and your needs.

Leigh Joy Carson, St. Louis Family Law Attorney http://www.thecarsonlawfirm.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leigh_Carson

Finding A Divorce Attorney

By Guna Seelan

Divorce is a difficult time for anyone to contend with, and it can be made more complicated by the involvement of lawyers and the ultimate squabbling over money. With the right divorce attorney in the ideal world, your separation should be a straightforward communicative exercise in which a fair and just conclusion is reached for both parties without the need for litigation or costly ongoing legal expenses. Unfortunately, it rarely works like that in practice, which can make that first decision to choose a divorce attorney all the more important. So what should you look for in a divorce attorney, and how can you make sure the attorney you've chosen is up to the job?

The first thing to look for when choosing an attorney for divorce is whether or not family law is his area of practice. Family law and divorce in particular is a specialized area of the law in which many practitioners solely operate, giving them an unrivaled in-depth knowledge when it comes to the ins and outs of dividing estates and divorce. However there are also countless local practices with one attorney or a couple of attorneys in partnership providing the full range of legal services which isn't the best route to go down. Specialization will give an advantage in court so make sure your attorney is a dedicated family law and divorce professional, rather than a general attorney who takes whatever work he can find.

Characteristically, attorneys are shy when it comes to discussing their fees - until, that is, they're looking to get paid! That's why you want a divorce lawyer that is upfront and honest with you in terms of what you're likely to have to pay, and what your current account balance stands at. Some attorneys offer a periodic invoice system or payment plan, which may also be helpful in allowing you to stagger payments if you have liquidity problems or can't really afford to go through the process of divorce.

Next you want to make sure that the attorney you do select is very much 'on your side'. Some attorneys, albeit towards the bottom of the scale, take minimal interest in what it is their clients are looking to achieve, but rather adopt the approach of opting for the path of least resistance in getting through the case and getting paid. Of course this isn't an ideal situation if you end up as that unfortunate client, so make sure you get a recommendation from a friend or reputable source prior to committing yourself to his services.

Choosing a solicitor is not an easy process by any means, and it is one that requires a great deal of foresight and perceptiveness. Of course no one really knows what's round the corner but it is important to try as hard as you can to predict where your lawyer may trip up prior to the complications that any divorce case can bring. Choosing carefully initially will help you avoid the potential disaster that is changing half way through the divorce proceedings.

For information on finding an attorney for divorce or on divorce law, or resources on serving divorce papers visit DivorceAdvisor.org. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Guna_Seelan

Need a Divorce Lawyer?

By Howard Kline

Intro

Divorce can be a very difficult and painful process. To help with this, you will need a knowledgeable, determined and compassionate divorce lawyer who will explain your legal rights in easy-to-understand terms. As difficult as it may be for the couples involved with the divorce, it can be even more challenging for any children involved. Before making the final decision to divorce, it is the opinion of this author that couples with children exhaust every possible solution to resolve the marriage. If you feel divorce is your only option, then know that the path to healing comes much quicker when each party devotes themselves to as peaceful a resolution as possible. No matter what your issues, a divorce lawyer can help you figure out the specifics of your case.

Legal Separation

For those with religious concerns, a legal separation is a possible alternative to getting an official divorce. Though still technically married, you can get a court order for a legal separation and it can cover such things as:

* child custody
* child visitation
* child support
* property and debt division
* spousal support

Children

Understandably, the biggest concern most couples have is what to do with their children. Child custody rights may be shared by both parents or, primary child custody rights may be awarded to one parent or legal guardian. It's important to note that child support payments are not taxable to the person receiving the payments, and are likewise not deductible by the person making the payments. When couples are not in agreement, child custody is determined by courts when couples. It's advisable to minimize disputes regarding children as much as possible because child custody disputes are often extremely disrupting for all involved, but especially for the kids.

Conclusion

The clearer a couple can be in their agreement on what to do about children, debts and other financial related information, the better. This way, the energy can be spent on working to possibly repair the damaged relationship.

Howard is a contributing author to PrincipledLawyer.com, a source of information for those seeking more information on divorce lawyers and home negligence lawyers among other related topics. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Howard_Kline

Getting a Separation or Divorce? Talk To Your Children

By Mary Wollard

So you and your spouse are separating or thinking about divorce. Have you told your children yet?

Parents do not separate or divorce on the spur of the moment. Weeks, months, or even years can go by while people move away from the relationship and toward separation and divorce. Many parents want to hide this whole process from their children until decisions have been made and plans firmed up. This is a mistake.

The fact is that children know when things are not right at home. While adults filter information, rationalize their actions and deny their feelings, children deal with the world around them much more directly. Separation and divorce is difficult for children of all ages, but will be much harder if the adults they rely on do not talk honestly with them.

Before one parent starts packing or moves out, tell the children what is going on, even if you don't have all the details worked out yet. Although you and your husband/wife might be hurt and angry with one another, give your children the courtesy of talking with them together. The children need to know that neither of you is "divorcing" them.

But if you don't know exactly what is going to happen, what do you tell the children? Tell them as much as you can about what you do know about your plans. Tell them as much as you can, without being hurtful or attributing blame, about why you have made this decision. Tell them as much as you can about the changes they can expect. And definitely tell them that they did not cause the separation or divorce.

Even though the words and depth of the discussion will differ slightly, you can use these guidelines regardless of the ages of the children. If you're stuck for what to say or how to say it, mediation can help you develop a plan.

Mary A. Wollard, JD, is an attorney, mediator, and arbitrator with over 20 years experience in solving the legal issues of divorce, parenting (custody), marital property and support. Visit http://www.cofamilysolutions.com/downloads.htm for free downloadable worksheets you can use to organize your family's transition. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Wollard