Sunday, April 26, 2009

Islamic Divorce in US Courts

Islamic Divorce Obtained in a Foreign Country

U.S. Courts do not apply Islamic Shari'a law because it violates the Establishment Clause set in the United States Constitution; they apply foreign law when necessary. American Courts do apply foreign law in certain cases involving international principle known as "conflict of Laws," or "Private International Law." This is referred to in U.S. courts as "the doctrine of comity".

In the area of Private International Law, Comity is a courtesy, amity, and reciprocity by U.S. courts towards court decision issued in other nations. Such a consideration by U.S. courts does not entail an obligation to agree with the rulings of foreign judgments. There is therefore a distinction between the doctrine of comity and law.

Public International Law can become part of the national law when the country has its signature on that law, Private international Law however, does not have the same level of recognition by U.S. Courts. The issue of comity is raised in Islamic divorce cases when a person who resides legally in the United States travels to a foreign country and obtain a certificate of divorce from a religious court.

The intent is to obtain an instant divorce by pronouncing triple talaq (divorcing his wife three times in a few minutes.) Such an action leaves the wife with nothing more than a nominal deferred mahr, and takes advantage of the child custody, which discriminates against the women and to label the wife as bad Muslim.

The man then returns to the United States and serves his wife with divorce papers demanding the implementation of the divorce according to the Islamic Shari'a, claiming that the "doctrine of comity" applies to his case.

To determine whether to apply a foreign law, U.S. courts turn to Private International Law, including the "doctrine of comity." Thus the application of the principle of comity is not mandatory, but is rather a matter of custom. They may deny the application of comity if the judges deem the foreign laws is "repugnant" to U.S. principle of law.

Generally, a judgment of divorce for example issued in a foreign country is recognized in the U.S. on the basis of comity, provided both parties to the divorce received adequate notice, i.e. service of process and, generally, provided one of the parties has a domicile in the foreign nation at the time of divorce, and the foreign court has given opportunity to both parties to present their case, and the trial was conducted upon regular proceedings after due citation or voluntary appearance of the litigants, and under a system of jurisprudence likely to secure an impartial administration of justice between the citizens of its own country, and those of other countries, an no prejudice towards either party and should not violate a strong U.S. principle of law, and the parties were present in court.

An Islamic triple talaq differs substantially with respect to property division. Under Islamic Shari'a, wives may be entitled to a deferred mahr, which is, in most cases, much less than what U.S. courts order; above all, U.S. courts will not accept an Islamic divorce certificate obtained in a foreign country if the cause of action on which the divorce is based is "repugnant" to the public policy of the State in which the case is litigated.

Gabriel Sawma is Professor of Middle East Constitutional Law and Islamic Shari'a. He is an expert on Islamic marriage contracts and Islamic divorce. Editor of an International Law website: http://www.gabrielsawma.blogspot.com Author of "The Qur'an: Misinterpreted, Mistranslated and Misread. The Aramaic Language of the Qur'an." http://www.syriacaramaicquran.com Author of an upcoming book on Islamic Divorce in US Courts. Email: gabrielsawma@yahoo.com; gabygms@gmail.com; tel. (609) 915-2237.

Gabriel Sawma - EzineArticles Expert Author

Friday, January 9, 2009

Divorce - Handling the First Few Days is Crucial

Ideally, divorce is something you see coming a long way off. That allows you to prepare yourself and the children emotionally, while you systematically make your way through that almost endless "to do" list.

Ideally.

In reality, divorces are often "sprung" on one of the spouses, and very often the one doing the "springing" has moved way ahead of the other regarding child custody, primary residence, lawyers, bank accounts, and "who gets what." And, of course, sometimes there's another person waiting in the wings.

It's very poignant to be asked for help by someone who's basically still in shock. They have to operate on two tracks. They now have to "catch up" and respond, agree, or challenge the rapidly developing situation on the ground, while simultaneously coping with the implosion of their inner life.

That's why one of my first tasks is to establish if there's something pressing down right away - in the next few days, or so - that needs to be talked about and thought through. It might be work-related - a project deadline, an interview, a key decision. It might be about one of the kids - a school consultation, a behavior problem needing attention. Or, it may even be to find a new place to live.

The first few days are like walking underwater - you may well wish you could lie in bed with the covers over your head, but the world (and especially the kids) still expect you to function and perform.

The point is that, yes, the "story" of your marriage does need to be talked about, finally, if you're going to make sense of it, learn, and even make it into something better. That means therapy, counseling, or coaching at some point.

In the mean time, though, you need to function adequately at work, manage your obligations, break the news to your family and friends, and all the while, your kids are watching you like a hawk. They need you to not buckle.

The first few days, if handled well, can go a long way toward minimizing the overall damage. If both sides "jump ugly" - hire shark lawyers, try to get the kids to take their side, make moves on community property, or scream at each other - the bad taste can last, not just years, but forever.

So I've learned that helping people put one foot in front of the other, early - while they handle the tasks immediately on their plate - is much better than getting too deep, too soon on the "meaning" of the divorce. Healing will come in its time.

For more information, support, and ideas about divorce, visit The Divorce Conversation athttp://divorceconversation.wordpress.com

Shaun Kieran has been helping people learn from the events in their lives for many years. He is a Professional Coach and Consultant. His blog is The Divorce Conversation.

He also addresses work issues on The Human Workplace at http://springpointservices.com/blog

Shaun Kieran - EzineArticles Expert Author

Divorce Advice - How a Celebrity Can Help You

This has been an incredible period for celebrity divorces. Madonna and Guy Ritchie recently finished a round of splitsville paparazzi style. The Christie Brinkley- Peter Cook battle was being broadcast like an actual crisis had hit the country. While it was eventually settled out of court, there are signs that certain issues may reignite the whole fiasco.

And what about Paul McCartney? After a long and nasty fight, the former Beatle was ordered to pay ex wife Heather Mills over 48 million dollars which is a fraction of what she was asking for. Now it looks like McCartney may have had a few choice words for Ms Mills in his latest song.

Next up on the docket is Rolling Stone guitarist Ron Wood whose rumored divorce and possible settlement could top 100 million. It also appears that Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid may find themselves on less than peaceful terms when they face off in court.

Of course high profile celebrities are not the only ones doing legal battle with their former significant others but there are some things which can act as a roadmap in regards to what not to do in a divorce.

1. Scorched Earth

There is a tendency for some celebrity couples going thru a divorce to carry out a strategy of total destruction. It's not so much that they care about the settlement (although that of course is a major part of things); it is that they are out to destroy and humiliate the other person in such a way that they would not dare show their face in public again. Turning a divorce into the War of the Roses does not benefit either party.

2. Winners and Losers

A win-win situation is the idea solution because it can be a major catalyst in helping both parties move forward with their lives. In too many instances, one person wins or at least declares victory; the other one is beaten. That means the chances of bitterness and resentment lingering for a long time is very strong. If for some reason you have to deal with your ex in the future, you can expect them to give you a hard time no matter how important or minor the issue.

3. The Aftermath

For a number of divorced celebrities there seems to be no letting it go. They were put through the ringer and irregardless of winning or losing, they find themselves revisiting the divorce over and over again in some form or another. Maybe the paparazzi won't come to your door and ask you questions about your break up but constantly going over that same ground in less than pleasant terms with friends, family, or co workers is not going to do anything for your state of mind.

No doubt we are going to hear about many more celebrity divorces and quite a few are going to be drawn out malicious affairs where everything is dragged before the public. If you are going through a divorce just look at some of the tabloids and television shows to understand what not to do.

Article written by Daryl Campbell - Find out how to deal with a divorce the right way at The Relationship Tip

Daryl Campbell - EzineArticles Expert Author

Monday, December 8, 2008

Wise Advice For Coping With Divorce

Ending a marriage is considered one of the most stressful situations a person will be in during the course of their lives. With up to 50% of marriages ending in divorce, it helps to understand that others have been there before. There are methods that can help a person deal with the idea of losing their spouse.

One of the major things to remember is that you do not have to be alone. Support groups abound that can help you to understand what is happening in your life. Separations can be painful, confusing, and overwhelming. By making use of support groups, whether religious, social, or otherwise, you can find some comfort and understanding.

Another important thing to do is acknowledge to your family and friends that the divorce is happening instead of shutting down and pretending nothing is wrong. Let your family and friends into your life. Chances are, they already know something is wrong and would dearly love to comfort you. Shutting them out will only lead to another painful loss.

Be aware of the needs of any children that may be involved. Kids are resilient and can surprise you with their levelheadedness. You do not need to go into overwhelming details about you and your spouse's dirty laundry, but some measure of explanation and reassurance is absolutely necessary. They aren't stupid, just inexperienced in adult interactions. Give them the information they will need to understand and adapt to this change in their lives.

Don't be afraid to seek legal counsel. While you may hope to keep a divorce as amicable as possible, hiring a lawyer will not ruin that. Often times, when a couple is severing their ties, a lawyer can help to keep things in perspective. You may want to give your spouse anything they ask for out of a feeling of guilt or hopes of reconciliation, but this is perhaps not the wisest course. Let someone who has dealt with this before guide both parties to a fair and satisfactory split.

Realize that this is not the end of the world. You don't have to welcome the dissolution of your marriage with open arms, but neither do you have to hide from it. Plenty of people learn from the problems in their marriage and move on to have happy and fulfilling lives. By taking things slowly and giving yourself time to heal, a split can be a growing experience. It may not be much of a silver lining, but it can help you get through the day.

Face this stumbling block in your life head on. By dealing with your divorce in a mature and progressive way, you can make it through this difficult time in your life and move on to the next chapter. Try to stay positive. People have, unfortunately, been in the same position, so why not let their experience and advice help you?

If you're trying to select family law attorney visit AustinDivorceHelp.com. Don't miss the information on howcollaborative divorce attorneys in Austin are changing the way that divorce is done.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

What to Do When Your Husband Wants a Divorce

I have a blog in which I share how, with a bit of hard work and good luck, I was able to save my marriage and thwart my husband's attempts at a divorce. My husband was dead set on splitting up and was just not interested in anything I had to say regarding preserving our marriage. This story seems to strike a cord with women, because I so often get comments and emails from wives who tell me that they found me because they desperately want to know how to respond to their husband's request for a divorce. They can't concentrate on legal issues or worry about getting an attorney, because they don't want this divorce, and more than anything else, they want to save their marriage and put a stop to this whole downward spiral.

I can completely identify, as I was in this same place a few years ago. I tried every trick in the book to get my husband to change his mind about the divorce. I tired to call his bluff. I tried to play hard ball. I tried to shower him with attention and affection - and none of it worked, but here's what finally did.

Why What You're Doing Now To Change His Mind About The Divorce Probably Isn't Working: Husband's hate to feel that they are being manipulated. If you are at a point where your husband wants a divorce, then this was probably not a split second decision that happened over night. There have probably been a lot of issues that were brushed over, hurts that were never healed, promises that were not kept, and attempts of reconciliation that have repeatedly failed. You husband likely feels that your marriage is at the point of no return and there's nothing that can be done to change or rescue things.

So, when you come in all full of promises and plans as to why this time is going to really be different, or if you argue and try to convince your husband why he is wrong, he's only going to dig in his heels, determined and convinced that there's no good reason to change his mind. In not so many words, you're communicating to him that he's dead wrong, being selfish, and causing a great deal of problems and pain for all involved. So, he's on the offensive, and as a defense mechanism, he's tuning you out.

This is obviously a major problem. You'll never be able to get him on board with saving the marriage if he won't listen to you or give you the time of day. But, please resist the urge to pull out all of the stops and act desperate or panicked. Don't follow him around, beg him, engage him, threaten him, or participate in any behaviors that are just going to confirm to him that negative things happen every time you are around. You want him to think positive thoughts when he thinks of and interacts with you. So, here's how to reverse this trend.

Validate Your Husband And Jump On His Side: As long as the two of you are on opposing sides, your husband is going to do everything possible to emerge the winner. No one likes to lose. So, you have to set this up where no one is going to be the loser. You have to "side" with your husband and agree with him - (or at least make him think you are). Of course, you know your husband best and you should use your own words, but it goes something like this.

The next time you interact with your husband, tell him that you have been thinking about your situation and you now agree with him. Yes, the marriage is in a grave place. Tell him that this hurts you deeply because he remains the most important person in your life. Assure him that you are finished participating in negative interactions and want to concentrate on improving your interactions, no matter where the relationship is going. Tell him that you're no longer going to engage him or try to change his mind.

Your husband will not believe this, probably. He's going to think this is another ploy on your part, but when you make good on it, over and over again, he's going to be disarmed and see that you're telling the truth. Then, the tension will diminish like a popped balloon and he'll have no reason to avoid you anymore - and this is when things will start to get easier.

Don't Rush Things. Let Him Be The One To Call The Divorce Off: Now, if you pull this off right, you'll usually find yourself in a little better position. The tension will start to fade and you'll find that your husband is a little more receptive to you because he no longer sees you as a threat. But, even if you are experiencing little victories, you must move slowly. You can never allow your husband to suspect that you are really trying to change his mind and the outcome. You want to keep busy, see friends, and do the things that put a smile on your face.

What you're doing is showing your husband that you are still the exciting, busy, vibrant, woman he first fell in love with. Take the time to remember who this woman really is. I'd bet that she's not clingy, threatening, or the walking wounded. She's likely happy, upbeat, open hearted, and easy to be around. You want him to want more of her. So she (you) should not be the one to initiate anything with him. Let him be the aggressor, because this puts you back on equal ground. The best case scenario is that you show him the woman he fell in love with, he wants more of her, and you continue to move slowly.

In the end, what you're doing is showing, (not telling him - because he is not going to believe you anyway) that things really can and have changed. Never hurt your progress by asking for reassurance, commitments, or a definition of your relationship too soon. If you continue to move slowly, you'll get these things eventually, but you don't want to scared him off and waste all of your hard work by pushing too hard.

When my husband wanted a divorce, I made many of the mistakes discussed in this article. I stalked, begged, threatened, tried to overcompensate, and acted very badly. These things back fired. Thankfully, I finally realized I was doing more harm than good and was able to change course and save the marriage. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

Divorce Attorney - Benefits of Hiring

A marriage can be a wonderful and beautiful thing. It is can be very hard to find someone that you would like to spend your life with, so when you do, you are probably very eager to enter a marriage and begin your life with your new spouse. However, marriage can also be very difficult. Sometimes unforeseen events in life can permanently alter a marriage and things can begin to go wrong.

If things have begun to go wrong in your marriage, and you are thinking of ending the relationship, you will probably want to hire a divorce attorney. Ending a marriage can be a very difficult and drawn out process, so if you are not familiar with all that is involved in a settlement, it is a good idea to have a professional on your side that will guide you through. You and your spouse will both likely be fighting to come out ahead in the settlement, so you will probably want to hire a divorce attorney that you can count on and that has a successful history in these settlements.

It can be very beneficial for you to hire a divorce attorney as soon as you have finalized your choice to end your marriage. You might even want to consult with someone before reaching your final decision, just to familiarize yourself with the process. Talking with someone that can help you becoming acquainted with the process of ending a marriage can go a long ways in making you feel more comfortable with the situation. This can also help relieve some of the stress and anxiety that you may be feeling over the situation.

The processes that your divorce attorney will likely be helping you through can include dividing the assets that you and your spouse have acquired during your marriage, and also in the child custody and support cases if you and your spouse have children. All of these processes can become quite intense, especially if both you and your spouse are fighting tooth and nail for everything. The situation can become particularly complicated when there are children involved because emotions tend to run very high during the custody hearings and both parents usually want to be awarded custody of the children. The benefit of having a professional on your side is that they will have experience in all of these situations and will be able to help you successfully navigate through them and also to hopefully come out ahead in the end.

The reasons why couples decide to call it quits on their marriages are unique and varied, but no matter what your reasoning is, making the decision to end your marriage can be very difficult. If you do decide to end things however, it is usually better to hire a professional from the beginning to make sure that you are being properly represented in the hearings and that you come out ahead at the end of the settlement. Also, if you do decide to hire a professional to guide you through the settlement, make sure to do your homework on all of your options before deciding who to hire.

For more information on the divorce process or for a Corona Family Law Attorney or to schedule a consultation with a Child Custody Lawyer visit the offices of Diefer Law Group

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Stop Divorce Advice - Three Common Misconceptions You Simply Must Not Believe

Are you looking for a way to stop divorce? There's a lot of advice out there that can help you. Unfortunately, there are also a few misconceptions that can completely sidetrack your efforts. Let's look at three commonly-espoused myths that you simply must ignore if you want to stop your divorce.

MYTH: You Need To Do Therapy As A Couple

There are a lot of people who will tell you that joint therapy is a great way to save a marriage. They'll go so far as to tell you that you must go if you want to stop divorce. Advice like this is completely misguided, though. Did you know that one expert actually reports that couples' therapy only saves marriages about 20% of the time! Eight out of every ten couples get divorced. This is not something you need to do!

MYTH: There's a Point Of No Return

There are some people who will say that troubled marriages can reach a point of no return. They'll argue that it's impossible to save a marriage after that invisible "tipping point". It simply isn't true. There are many cases of people who were able to stop a divorce even after initiating the process. There is no point of no return. Until the divorce is finalized, it is possible to save your marriage.

MYTH: You Can't Do It Alone

Stop divorce advice givers are frequently guilty of assuming that both parties in a marriage need to be active in order to save it. Of all divorce myths, this is probably the most common. It also isn't true. It is possible to rescue a seemingly doomed marriage even when only one spouse is interested in making a change. There are proven systems out there that explain exactly what one person can do to save a marriage and why these strategies work. The idea that "it takes two to tango" has some prima facie appeal, but research and experience prove that one motivated spouse can make the difference.

Don't believe these common misconceptions. Your relationship is not doomed. Even if you're the only one interested in making things work, you can save your marriage.

By following a smart, professional and proven plan designed to effectively save a marriage, you can make your relationship much stronger and better than it has ever been!