Rhode Island Divorce Tips - Do Your Homework!

By Christopher Pearsall 

There is nothing more powerful than information. When you are headed for divorce, the more information you have the better.

What do I mean? I mean . . . do your divorce homework.

Take a look at the Rhode Island laws governing divorce and read through them.

Is it your attorney's job to guide you through the process? Absolutely.

Yet it would be ridiculous for anyone to think they will master the divorce process by the time they complete their first, second or even third divorce (if they have the displeasure of going through more than one).

By being an informed client you can think about the issues in advance and know what you would like to do in a particular situation.

Ultimately YOU are the client and you are the one who makes the major decisions on what you will and will not agree to if you want to reach a divorce settlement.

You have a substantially greater chance at being more effective, calmer and more helpful and cost efficient for your attorney if you do your divorce homework.

In this case I mean that you should read the Divorce Laws for Rhode Island which are found here.

Rhode Island Domestic Relations Laws

Not all the sections will relate to your particular case but most of the time you can pick those that aren't likely to apply.

Then, do some research at some different websites on the internet but try to be specific to Rhode Island Divorce otherwise it is very easy to become misinformed.

By doing your homework you can help your attorney and yourself get to a faster resolution.

Visit http://www.ChristopherPearsall.com to learn about Attorney Pearsall's Divorce focused practice Visit Pearsall Law Associates for a different look at Attorney Pearsall's practice PLUS . . . get detailed Rhode island Divorce Information at Rhode Island Divorce Tips Blog Contact Attorney Pearsall at (401) 354-2369 for your low-cost consultation and even find out why FREE consultations are worth exactly what you pay for them! This article is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice. You should not take legal action without legal advice from a licensed practitioner who has been fully informed about your specific circumstances. The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law and has no procedure for recognition of specialties. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christopher_Pearsall

Have I Chosen the Wrong Lawyer? Or Do I Have Unrealistic Expectations!

By Christopher Pearsall 

Not every attorney is right for every person. And sometimes, there is no attorney that can satisfy a client. Simply hiring a divorce and/or family law attorney experienced in Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law does not mean that you have chosen the right attorney for you.

When choosing YOUR divorce or family law attorney you should to consider your own needs and expectations. You also should consider whether or not your needs and expectations are achievable.

Here's a quick example of obstacles that can make the client's expectations unrealistic.

A client engages me to represent her in her divorce. She wants the divorce filed and served quickly. She also wants it settled quickly and economically. I don't give her any guarantees because a settlement is dependent upon too many factors, yet I assure her that I will do everything within my power to meet her expectations.

The client gets the questionaire back to me and a I draw up the papers right away. The husband's lawyer calls and says he wants to accept service for this client but he'll be away for a week or so on vacation. When the attorney returns the husband's attorney is served. In about a week the husband's attorney answers the divorce complaint and serves the wife with extensive Interrogatories (questions to be answered under oath) and Requests for the Production of Documents which are likewise extensive.

The client wants the matter settled quickly and doesn't want to answer the Interrogatories so I call the husband's attorney. He doesn't want to discuss settlement at this early stage without more information. He wants the answers to the Interrogatories and Request for Production of Documents responded to first.
The husband's attorney also files a motion to be heard in a few weeks.

My client is unhappy because this will delay the divorce and cost her more money. The client instructs me to be more aggressive. I object to the Interrogatories and call the opposing attorney to see what his client wants to settle the matter. The opposing attorney will not negotiate.....PERIOD.

My client is upset.

A week or so later I get a letter that my client has retained new counsel.

Conclusions?

I was not the right attorney for this client and realize that perhaps no attorney will fit the bill.

The client had unrealistic expectations under the circumstances.

No attorney can control another party or another party's attorney. It simply isn't reasonable to expect your attorney to settle a case immediately when the other side will not budget. Likewise it isn't within the attorney's control to keep the case economical when third parties that are outside the attorney's control take actions and make filings which by necessity increase the cost.

A person entering the divorce arena should be prepared for best and worst case scenarios and be able to adapt to the changing environment of their court case. Persons who are unable or are unwilling to do this generally either hop from lawyer to lawyer or end up with a result that is much less than they expected and then resort to blaming the lawyer for not achieving unreasonable expectations.

Visit http://www.ChristopherPearsall.com to learn about Attorney Pearsall's Divorce focused practice Visit Pearsall Law Associates for a different look at Attorney Pearsall's practice PLUS . . . get detailed Rhode island Divorce Information at Rhode Island Divorce Tips Blog Contact Attorney Pearsall at (401) 354-2369 for your low-cost consultation and even find out why FREE consultations are worth exactly what you pay for them! This article is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice. You should not take legal action without legal advice from a licensed practitioner who has been fully informed about your specific circumstances. The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law and has no procedure for recognition of specialties. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christopher_Pearsall

Interrogatories in a Rhode Island Divorce are Critical!

By Christopher Pearsall 

Whether you've been through a Rhode Island Divorce proceeding yet or not, you may have heard this word in other legal contexts. The word is "Interrogatories".

In a Rhode Island Divorce proceeding you or your attorney may receive Interrogatories that have been prepared by the opposing party. Interrogatories are questions that must be answered and signed under oath by the party in the divorce (not his or her attorney) before a notary public.

In a Rhode Island Divorce proceeding you have forty (40) days from the date of service of the Interrogatories to answer or otherwise object to the questions being asked of you. If you don't answer or object to the interrogatories within the forty (40) day period then generally you will be deemed to have waived any objections you may have to the questions.

The likely result thereafter is that the opposing party or his or her divorce attorney will file a Motion to Compel Answers to Interrogatories and absent a compelling reason you will be ordered to answer the questions.

So what is the tip?

1) Don't miss the forty (40) day deadline if you have any objections. Keep in mind that this is NOT forty (40) business days. Weekends and holidays are included in the days a party is afforded in order to respond.

2) Make sure you or your attorney put in valid objections within the forty (40) days, especially if some questions are designed purely to harass you.

3. Use VALID Objections. For instance, you can't object simply because you don't want to answer the question. You can't object just because the answer will hurt you. You can't object simply because it is going to take you considerable time to answer the question.

Typically objections will be left to your attorney in order to protect you. However, this is part of your case. You should know what your attorney is objecting to, why, and what the attorney stated for an objection.

If you have to object on your own. . . "study up" learn the valid objections and then use them appropriately.

Interrogatories are part of the phase of divorce litigation called "Discovery" and interrogatories are only one of several discovery tools.

Discovery is the portion of the litigation where questions are asked and documents are produced so that facts and information may be disclosed so each party can take his or her various positions and prepare for trial if necessary. It has its pros and its cons as does each method or discovery tool.

For our purposes today this is only about interrogatories. Make sure you meet your deadline and make sure you pose your valid objections in time or you could find yourself behind the eightball.

Visit http://www.ChristopherPearsall.com to learn about Attorney Pearsall's Divorce focused practice Visit Pearsall Law Associates for a different look at Attorney Pearsall's practice PLUS . . . get detailed Rhode island Divorce Information at Rhode Island Divorce Tips Blog Contact Attorney Pearsall at (401) 354-2369 for your low-cost consultation and even find out why FREE consultations are worth exactly what you pay for them! This article is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice. You should not take legal action without legal advice from a licensed practitioner who has been fully informed about your specific circumstances. The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law and has no procedure for recognition of specialties. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christopher_Pearsall

Uncontested Divorce Kits Can Be Problematic!

By Christopher Pearsall 

Recently I was approached by a client and his wife who had a truly uncontested divorce. At least it was uncontested on the surface and so far it looks good.

Issues arose however when the couple wanted me to work with the "kit" they had purchased online to do their Rhode Island Divorce.

The "kit" was what I as a practicing divorce attorney* would call a standard packet of documents. In fact, regrettably the couple had spent countless hours tailoring various documents and agreements to their own situation (as best they could) without the benefit of a qualified and licensed practitioner.

Now of course I understand the desire of any couple that is in agreement on major aspects of divorce to save money and want to put through their divorce without lawyers. . . who may tend to seem to complicate things and/or turn simple matters into adversarial battles. Yet in my humble opinion relying upon forms purchased on the internet is generally a bad way to go.

Some form companies simply don't put the effort that is needed into keeping up with the state's laws, the actual practicalities of divorce practice in Rhode Island and the judges. All three play a definitive roll in your divorce and how smoothly it will go and without an actual practitioner in the field to guide you, I highly doubt that any form company is going to take the time and care necessary to be informed on all these aspects in a timely fashion and then put them in a set of clear instructions for you.

To say the least I had to explain to the couple that it was better if they substantially discard their forms and retain me for a nominal amount for one of the parties to guide them through the process while they worked out their own agreement and I simply formalized it.

Discarding the Rhode Island Uncontested Divorce Kit did several important things for these people. It put them at ease that they had a Rhode Island Professional leading them through the process and it saved them time and energy worry whether they would get it right.

To those who can use a forms kit to take a Rhode Island Uncontested Divorce from beginning to end without hassle, anxiety, confusion and mistakes. . . I applaud you. To those who want it done right by a competent professional at an affordable price, I'll gladly place my skills and forms head to head with the legal form companies regarding a Rhode Island Divorce every day of the week and twice on Sundays.

But don't take it from me, I have clients who will gladly speak with you.

Visit http://www.ChristopherPearsall.com to learn about Attorney Pearsall's Divorce focused practice Visit Pearsall Law Associates for a different look at Attorney Pearsall's practice PLUS . . . get detailed Rhode island Divorce Information at Rhode Island Divorce Tips Blog Contact Attorney Pearsall at (401) 354-2369 for your low-cost consultation and even find out why FREE consultations are worth exactly what you pay for them! This article is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice. You should not take legal action without legal advice from a licensed practitioner who has been fully informed about your specific circumstances. The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law and has no procedure for recognition of specialties. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christopher_Pearsall

Financial Disclosures in a Florida Divorce - The Paper Chase

By Vivian Rodriguez

Florida family law has specific rules which include financial disclosures between husband and wife. Specifically, when a divorced is filed, the rule requires each party to file a financial affidavit with the Court. A financial affidavit is a snapshot of a party's financial condition, including daily expenses, asset accumulated, and debt owed.

But that's not all. The rule requires a party to disclose--or provide copies of documents for- 15 other documents applicable to assets and debt. There are the obvious ones like income tax returns; pay stubs; bank account statements for all types of accounts, including savings, checking and brokerage accounts, and deeds to properties. But is also requires statements for retirement account; loan application; declaration pages for insurance, including life insurance provided through an employer; marital agreements between the parties; and other documents showing the ownership of an asset.

Just like the documents for assets, the one for debt apply whether the debt is in joint names or in the name of one party alone.

In most cases, the parties basically exchange the same documents; but unless the parties agree to waive the requirement, they must comply.

At the time of a divorce, or in preparation for one, it is not uncommon for one party to have all or most of the documents, leaving the other party with few options other than indicating that the documents are not in his or her possession.

The rule gives the parties 45 days from the date the divorce petition is served on the other party. There is good reason for this period: parties usually avoid looking for documents until the end, dreading the search for particular documents, requesting duplicate bank statements, brokerage account statements, life insurance policies and the like.

Of course, the requirements of this rule can be avoided if the parties waived it---they can agree to file only the financial affidavit for each, which is a requirement that cannot be waived. However this waiver is not a decision to be made lightly, and should be carefully considered after discussing with an attorney. A party agreeing to waive the requirements cannot later cry foul if he or she discovers that the "Ex" has property acquired during the marriage but of which they had no knowledge. For specific details of what documents must be produced see Rule 12.285(d), of the Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure.

Vivian Rodriguez has been a practicing attorney in Florida for over 18 years, and is also a Florida Supreme Court-certified family law mediator. You can find out more information on the Florida Family Law Forms by visiting http://www.viviancrodriguez.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vivian_Rodriguez

3 Reasons To Stay Together For The Sake Of The Kids

By Melissa Morecombe

Although the reasons parents separate are many and complex there are always going to be very compelling reasons for maintaining the family unit.

Barring the obvious which is that divorce is distressing for the children. There are a few other reasons I'd like to outline in the following article.

Reason 1.

Control.

You see your children everyday.

They're there when you wake up. When you kiss them goodnight. At breakfast, lunch and dinnertime.

You see them every birthday and all other religious and secular events.

They're with you for every visit you make to your parents, brothers, sisters and friends.

You decide what they will eat, how they will behave, what clothes they will wear, what shows they will watch on TV. You decide how they will have their hair cut.

When you divorce you lose all of that control.

Control you may not have understood and appreciated before.

Now you are sharing control with your ex-partner, and perhaps his new girlfriend, who's idea of good parenting is perhaps the complete opposite of what you think.

You might be able to imagine how you would feel if you were faced with this reality.

But the loss of the control a mother feels entitled to is a terrible and painful blow to most women.

Reason 2.

Financial.

To speak of money at a time like separation or divorce might sound crass, but when your emotions are already in turmoil financial problems can be more distressing than ever.

You might be fortunate and qualify for legal aid, even better you might be fortunate and find that your ex-partner doesn't fight your attempts to gain custody.

But the odds are against that.

The truth is you might be in for months or even years (in extreme cases) of custody battles, which will bear an emotional and financial cost far beyond your worst nightmares.

Currently, many new mums are unaware how hard they generally need to fight for more than 50% care of their children.

In order to avoid the financial and legal wrangling over the children in the case of divorce, you both must be able to agree on a 'parenting plan' that suits not only the two of you, but the children as well.

Can you guarantee yourself that? Not likely.

Reason 3.

Bitterness/ Resentment.

After all is said and done, your separation and divorce [if applicable] will have been a torturous ordeal suffered by all involved.

You will most likely be nursing battle scars along with your children. Your Ex will have his own scars.

No one will be left unscathed in the aftermath.

There's a good chance that your children will come after either yourself or both of you - with many unhealed hurts and accusations about the past and the decisions you've made.

There's also a good chance that all future family events will be forever marred for [b]all of you[/b] by the memory of the fights that have preceded them.

Weddings, the births of grandchildren and even the birthday parties of grandchildren. Christmas family gatherings.

The war that often follows separation can forever colour and cloud all these events - sometimes the tension is so bad that one of you is excluded.

That is a high price to pay.

In conclusion, I'd like to say that I am not necessarily against divorce. But if you are considering it please think over the points raised here.

If you must 'fight' for your rights, fight with as much dignity as you can muster.

Do not create or worsen rifts with your Ex or his new partner.

Keep the future in your mind at all times.

Work towards the goal of your future happiness even in the face of all the difficulties that divorce and separation can bring to a family.

After all is said and done, parents need to make an informed choice about what a divorce with children is going to entail.

If you can't or won't stay together for 'the sake of the kids' then do it for yourself.

If you would like to explore or discuss these issues further please visit my stepfamily forum.

http://stepfamily.madmooseforum.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Melissa_Morecombe

Divorce Support While Your Children Are in School

By Tolu A. Adeleye and Dave Webster 

A number of things can shake up a person's life, but divorce is definitely one of the biggest. Whether you initiated it or not, dealing with the aftermath takes a great deal of emotional fortitude.

Most people start to identify themselves in conjunction with their spouse, especially after several years of marriage. Having that identity wrested away in a divorce is a soul-shaking and world-shattering event. There is no more "family" the way you previously defined it, and it's something that affects both you and your children.

It takes a great deal of time to cope with divorce, strength and support to come to terms with a new identity. That's made even more difficult with all the constant reminders of all the "couples" things that you used to do, especially with the start of a new school year.

How are you going to deal with the "couple" things that you'll now have to do alone, like attending school functions? How about coping with seeing your ex-spouse there with a new significant other?

It's important to learn to accept and move on, but here are a few divorce support tips for staying sane in the present.

Divorce support tip #1: List your fears

Even if you're not an anxious person by nature, divorce can have a major effect on that. Maybe you're worried about seeing your ex with his or her new interest. Maybe you're worried about attending all those school functions -- parents' night, plays, concerts, what have you -- by yourself, when everybody else will be with a spouse. Maybe you have other fears.

Whatever the case, you can't face your fears if you don't name them. Make a list of the things you fear, or that worry and concern you, about facing the new school year as a single parent. Acknowledging your fears is the first step to facing and eliminating them.

Divorce support tip #2: Accept your limitations

You aren't Superman (or Wonder Woman). No matter how much you may want to, there will be times when you just won't be able to do everything. It's okay if you scrap a home-cooked meal in favor of frozen food or dinner out so that you can make it to functions on time, or if you get a store-bought costume for the school play instead of making it yourself. You are only one person.

Divorce support tip #3: Keep the peace

As emotionally trying as it would be to see your ex at school functions, it's vital to maintain a peaceful relationship for the sake of your children. Kids are brilliant at picking up on tension, and they're probably more worried than you are that there will be a humiliating scene at their school play.

If at all possible, keep your post-divorce relationship with your ex friendly. If you can't manage friendly, at least manage civil. And don't speak ill of your ex to your children. Tempting as it may be to list what you view as a litany of faults, it will only serve to damage your ex's relationship with your kids, and possibly yours as well. If you need to vent, do it to a supportive friend or relative.

Divorce support tip #4: This, too, shall pass

Above all, know that everything you feel – the fears, the worries, the grief and the transitional feeling – is not permanent. The present stage of your life will pass, and you will move on to the next. With each passing day, coping will get a little easier. The good things in life may not last forever, but then again, neither do the bad things.

Divorce brings lots of changes to your life, but you don't have to let those changes destroy your sanity. The school season is stressful enough without adding a new list of worries to it. Take a deep breath and take it one day at a time, and eventually things will get better.

About the author: Dave Webster & Tolu Adeleye are partners of Contemporary Lifestyle Consulting Inc. and the co-authors of "Stay Sane Through Change: How To Rise Above The Challenges Of Life’s Complex Transitions." Don't spend another minute floundering in stasis. Visit http://www.staysanethroughchange.com/book.php today to get a 10 percent discount on the audio book. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tolu_A._Adeleye