By Barb Lundy
The stress surrounding divorce whittles away at the self confidence of both husbands and wives. The realization that your journey as a couple is coming to an end can leave you feeling fearful about future relationship choices. The adversarial nature of divorce leaves few couples unscarred by the experience.
After the papers are signed, you need time to rebuild your life. Make some goals that you can realistically reach and plan what you want to get done each day to reach those goals. Deciding to do something positive can help pull you out of post-divorce depression.
You often have to make major decisions during the overwhelming divorce process. Returning to a strong sense of balance and self confidence can make a big difference in your experience. You may be facing big changes like selling your home or starting a job search. Even smaller tasks like changing your name, revising your will or updating your driver’s license can feel monumental because they are connected to the divorce.
If you have children, think about establishing a parenting plan so your kids don’t get caught up in any residual tension between you and your spouse. Remaining calm and self assured around your children will help them feel safe while they cope with changes in their lives. There are several good books that can help you figure out how to co-parent effectively. Mom’s House, Dad’s House and The Co-Parenting Survival Guide are two great resources.
Concerns and fears about the future are normal. You may want to discuss your concerns in a support group setting or with a therapist. Also, think about using self hypnosis as a way to lower stress and feel more optimistic about the future. The Press Play Series has just come out with a new Energize Self Confidence CD. It runs about 30 minutes and listening to it, or other similar CDs, can help you feel more hopeful and ready to take on life’s challenges. You can find Energize Self Confidence on Amazon for a reasonable $19.99 or at http://RHChypnotherapy.com/. If you want to find a certified hypnotherapist in your area to help you cope with stress, contact the National Guild of Hypnotists for a referral.
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